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As individual leaders in the public service, we recognise that we must continually build and maintain other people’s trust in us – the trust of our teams, colleague, partners and the wider communities that we serve. People’s trust in us is
reinforced not only by our competence and reliability but also by our ability to create connection in our conversations. This sense of connection is created by, amongst other things:
Shifting to an inquiring stance and asking good questions
Listening and responding with our full attention
Having a range of conversational ‘moves’ at our disposal.
This series is designed to help you build or reinforce those skills on your own and with colleagues. Each segment includes one or two core ideas to focus on and some questions for personal reflection. Of course it is far better to practice
your dialogue skills with other people!
We begin in this module by looking at inquiry and the importance of balancing our well developed advocacy skills with curiosity and the desire to seek new perspectives. We will move on to listening and conversational skills in the next two
modules.
Noticing when we are judging rather than trying to stop judging (almost impossible!)
Questions and practical tips to help you focus on core aspects
Listening
How do you know when you are really listening? What behaviours and thoughts emerge?
Notice when you listen and when you don’t. What situations block? What emotions and reactions arise when you sense your own resistance?
During a conversation look for collective meaning “What reality would make sense of these diverse points of view?
Inquiry
Next time you hear a comment that you don’t understand or that you think is wrong try asking a question that will reveal more of their thinking.
Ask questions about the connections and possible relationships between diverse perspectives.
Reflect on what it feels like to be curious. Practice being curious especially in the face of disagreement.
Reflection
Notice your relationship with silence. When are you comfortable? Uncomfortable?
Try pausing and taking a few breaths before answering. What impact does this have?
At the end of a meeting set aside a few minutes to reflect on the major learnings both in terms of the content and the form of conversation used.
Assumption identification
When you encounter a person with an opinion that differs from your own, ask yourself “What filter am I looking through that is different to theirs? What assumptions might underlie both our perspectives?"
Use the 'Ladder of inference' described here by the team at The Systems Thinker to explore your own thinking and the thinking of others
Suspension of judgement
Notice judgements and their impact in at least one conversation a day.
Consciously try to suspend judgement and continue to listen. What happens as a result?
Pause for reflection
How would you rate your own dialogue skills? Do you think you listen well? Are you able to balance advocacy (putting forward your own views) with inquiry (asking about how others see things)?
What aspects of your own conversational practice would you like to improve?
Think about the people you know and those you work with. Are there any individuals who seem particularly effective when they are part of a group? What might you learn from them?
Introducing the Leading Libraries series. It covers the findings from the C21st Public Servant research, the origins of the four 'Leading for' capabilities and explains how to use the materials.
This set introduces you to resilience and why it is important for leaders. It covers emotional resilience; mental resilience; relationship resilience and social resilience.
It covers the key concepts of dialogue and why it is important for leaders, listening and inquiry skills, an introduction to 'conversational moves' and how to create a space for dialogue.
Emphasising the need for inclusive practice in our services and communities. It covers the foundations of inclusion, barriers to inclusion, power and privilege and allyship skills.
Building creativity and design skills for leaders. It covers the innovation cycle, diagnosis and perspective shifting skills, creative idea generation and safe-to-fail experimentation.
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