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Changing our own behaviour often feels hard and complex – even if we are motivated to do so.
We may know that we need to:
Pay more attention to our health
Reflect more on our thought processes
Spend time improving our relationships
But it is a lot more easy to say than it is to do – which is why so many New Year’s Resolutions fail in the first month.
We often try to 'think our way into a new way of acting' but research shows that it is much easier to 'act our way into a new way of thinking'.
This is why ‘habit technologies‘ are so effective.
What really helps us change?
As you will learn during the rest of these modules, we know that people who are naturally resilient have certain habitual ways of:
Working with their emotional states
Managing their thinking
Handling their relationships and social groups.
But how can we use that knowledge to help ourselves become more resilient?
A lot of us think that making a change requires a lot of motivation and will power – as well as time and attention, but luckily there is a much easier way of altering the way we operate.
Taking small steps
The human brain is brilliant at learning and replaying habits – usually very unconsciously.
Habit ‘technologies’ help us use this capability in our own favour when we want to make a change.
The most important pieces of advice are to:
Pick one habit to change at a time – don’t try to change everything at once
Pick something very small at first and build up the habit once it is established
Maintain your habit for one month – if you miss a day, don’t worry but try not to miss two in a row
The power of habit technologies
Over the last few years, interest has been building in what are called ‘habit building technologies.
The authors Charles Duhigg and James Clear have made great contributions to our understanding of how personal behaviour change really works, emphasising how ‘small changes can make a big difference’.
Both Duhigg and Clear use their understanding of how we develop unconscious habits to help us change those habits or instil new, more healthy, options for ourselves.
So, in order to change a habit, we keep the cue but we replace the routine.
When feeling low some people seek out sweet foods which may improve physiology in the short-term given the increased glucose in the bloodstream leading to an energy boost, however this is not an ideal long-term habit.
To change this habit, when feeling low instead of reaching for a sweet treat, try reaching for the phone or visiting a friend. Engaging in an enjoyable conversation stimulates the brain in a similar way to the glucose from the sweet treat,
providing a boost of energy.
In this way, the long-term unhealthy habit can be replaced with a more positive alternative. If we can recognise the cue and choose to do something different in relation to that cue, then we can build a more healthy habit.
Tips for building a new habit
If we want to create a new, more positive habit of any kind, we can use James Clear's guidance to help us design our habit and give it the best chance of sticking. You can read more about Clear's ideas on his own website here.
Clear encourages us to set a clear and concrete intention for our new habit, either setting a specific daily time and place for the behaviour or linking the habit to an existing regular behaviour, e.g. – 'After I have my morning tea, I will
do a short relaxation exercise'.
An effective new habit statement has the form:
‘I will [BEHAVIOUR] at/when [TIME/EVENT/PLACE]’.
Remember – a ‘behaviour’ can be a thought or a desired feeling state too!
Implementation intentions
Trigger is a time, location or event
When X happens I will Y, or I will X at Y
e.g. I will get some exercise at 5.00pm
When I feel anxious, I will take 3 deep breaths and feel my feet on the ground.
When I disagree with a colleague, I will speak up and ask a question
Habit stacking
Trigger is an existing habit
After X, I will Y
e.g. After I open my laptop in the morning, I will look at my diary and plan my priorities for the day
When I brush my teeth at night, I will remind myself of what's gone well today
Once we have a clear intention, we can design our habit. The exercise below is designed to help you do that, using Clear's 'Four Laws' where he advises us to consider the following principles in our habit design:
We need to be reminded of our new habit as often as possible so that it becomes a routine way of operating.
We can set an 'implementation intention' which we then write on a large piece of paper and place somewhere prominent so we see it every day – or make it a screen saver on our phone.
We can 'engineer our environment' – e.g. putting a fruit bowl on the table and hiding our sugary snacks if we want to change our eating habits.
We are more likely to begin our habit if it links to other behaviours or activities we enjoy.
For example, if we like to learn with others, we can find a group to join which is likely to support our new chosen behaviour – e.g. joining a park run or 'couch to 5k' group.
Another option is to link the new habit with something we like doing anyway – e.g. 'When I take the dog for a walk, I will make sure I speak to at least one other person' might be a useful prompt for someone who is trying to become more
confident about engaging with other people.
We often try to 'bite off more than we can chew' when we want to start a new behaviour – setting a New Years Resolution to 'go to the gym three times a week'. When we (inevitably) fail, we get disappointed in ourselves and the new behaviour
becomes associated with negative feelings.
The best place to start is with the simplest, smallest possible step – ideally something that takes no more than five minutes – e.g. 'I will get off the bus one stop earlier and walk briskly for 5 minutes'.
Once we have succeeded with that step, we can build on complexity or intensity in a step-wise way.
Rewards are a key part of building a new habit – until it becomes rewarding in itself!
For example, if I want to build a habit of 'doing my admin tasks as they arise', I might decide to allow myself to listen to a favourite podcast after I have paid my bills.
Clear also recommends the use of 'Habit Trackers' which allow us to keep a record of our progress – there are a number of free apps which help us create a structure around a new habit.
Introducing the Leading Libraries series. It covers the findings from the C21st Public Servant research, the origins of the four 'Leading for' capabilities and explains how to use the materials.
This set introduces you to resilience and why it is important for leaders. It covers emotional resilience; mental resilience; relationship resilience and social resilience.
It covers the key concepts of dialogue and why it is important for leaders, listening and inquiry skills, an introduction to 'conversational moves' and how to create a space for dialogue.
Emphasising the need for inclusive practice in our services and communities. It covers the foundations of inclusion, barriers to inclusion, power and privilege and allyship skills.
Building creativity and design skills for leaders. It covers the innovation cycle, diagnosis and perspective shifting skills, creative idea generation and safe-to-fail experimentation.
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