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Let's Talk About It - a guest blog on the importance of discussing eating disorders - by Stewart Foster

Posted By Jacob Hope, 28 February 2025

 

It is a pleasure to welcome award-winning author Stewart Foster to the blog.  Stewart is the author of numerous books including The Bubble Boy which won the Sainsbury’s Children’s Book Award and was nominated for the Carnegie Medal.  Stewart’s acclaimed novels tackle emotionally sophisticated subjects with an honest eye.  His books have been included in the Reading Well and on Empathy Lab lists.  Here Stewart discusses his motivations in writing his latest novel, Pieces of Us, and why talking about eating disorders, particularly with young males is so important .

 

I once told a friend that I was scared about writing any articles about Pieces of Us, for fear that my words would be picked apart by medical experts or those in families where eating disorders have become an issue. This ‘fear’ is mostly generated by a post I placed on social media a couple of years ago, where I asked if there were any books on the subject of eating disorders, out there? That evening I received maybe thirty replies, mostly along the lines of, it’s a subject that shouldn’t be discussed in Young Adult fiction for fear of triggering behaviours and also, stick to writing fiction because you don’t know what you are talking about.

 

I sat scrolling the replies, thinking, oh shit, what did I just do? Perhaps it is a mistake, just doing this post, but then I got a direct message from another author, an author whom I’;d spent three hours waiting for a train in deep conversation with, after a literary event. And his message said, ‘Stew, I get why some have reacted the way they have, but if anyone should write a book about male eating disorders, it’s you.’

 

I was, am, and always will be, so grateful for that message.

 

Because I totally get how sensitive the issue of male eating disorders is… I kept mine hidden from my friends and family for far too many years. I know the hurt, the pain and the shame the sufferer feels, I also know the feelings of frustration but mostly worry that it brings to a family. And how helpless both feel. And the inability, the shame, the sheer ‘It’s so stupid’ the stigma, that stop us talking about ‘It.’

 

That’s why I wrote Pieces of Us, so it will be on a table or a shelf in a bookshop or a library, or in a reader’s hands and someone will ask, ‘What is that book about?’ And I hope the reply will be that it is about a beautiful friendship between two boys and the problems they faced together as they grew up. The type of friendship I was lucky to have in my late teens and the ‘problems’ we both had. So when I have those worries about not having deep medical knowledge of eating disorders, I can at least say I do know what I am talking about, because I have been there, still am to a great extent. Experience and being able to write, is my main qualification. Getting people to talk about it, is my main motivation.

 

From the age of thirteen I would never be seen outside of my bedroom without a shirt on. Wore baggy jumpers all through six weeks of the 1977, heatwave. Went for walks on my own rather than go in the sea on holidays. So uncomfortable with my body.

 

There’s a scene in Pieces of Us where Jonas is out walking before an impending summer thunderstorm. His best friand, Louis, tries to get him to take off his jumper, screw it into a ball, so he can put it back on, dry, when the storm has passed. Jonas refuses because he knows his t-shirt will stick to him and the rain will show the folds of his skin. That scene was true…me and my best friend when I was sixteen.

 

Two years later and that discomfort with my body grew into making myself ill in order to lose weight. ‘It’ and ‘It had a name, bulimia. I didn’t know. There was no internet for information then.

 

No one to talk to about it. No one I thought would understand.

 

You look fine.

 

You’re fine.

 

What are you worried about?

 

But I did worry, almost every minute of every day, even though I absolutely loved school. Was popular I guess. Good and sport, talked lots, wrote poetry about classmates to make them laugh. Same in sixth form, but all the time my body was changing, changing into a shape I hated. Laughter would fade as my friends peeled away from me on the walk home, replaced by a sadness that I never understood where it came from, This happy-go-lucky kid, making other laugh all day, avoiding tea with his parents, making himself sick when the house was quiet. Momentarily happy, for all of ten seconds, before the shame and guilt kicked in.

 

And now I think back, would it have helped to have had someone to talk to? There was a chance, once, on my own at the doctors, when I had an infection caused by not drinking enough liquid, because liquid was the first thing I’d notice to affect the scales. Was everything okay? Everything alright at school? Yes. Yes. That’s all I could say because my mum was there.

 

Years on, I may no longer do ‘It’ but everything else is still there… the uncomfortable body, the constant exercising, the relentless battle with the scales. But I cope, and for the most part, cope well, but I know I was 77.2kg last night. 76.3 this morning. But I know longer weigh ten times in between. And I talk openly about it with my daughters as we go back over old family photos sometimes pausing if ‘Dad doesn’t look well there’. And me looking at same photo’s thinking, I look so thin when I thought I was huge.

 

Another friend of mine, my best friend, often tells me that I can’t help all of the people all the time. This will often come after I’ve been on a visit to a school, met someone, been told something and then telling that person that they need to talk to someone, someone they trust. But then when we are in that position, we can’t think who that person would be. And the trouble is, to me, and maybe their friends, that person can appear to be least troubled person you are likely to meet. Outwardly confident, good at sports, plenty of friends. But then the pressures of social media influencers, perfect people with perfect bodies having perfect lives. The constant barrage of images of people we are supposed to be. And we are all consumed by those images on our screens, where text messages have replaced actual real conversations.

 

So many people in education say ‘Read. Read. Read.;’ when I wish it was ‘Talk, Talk. Talk.’ If by being in libraries and schools, Pieces of Us can promote conversations/discussions, between students and teachers or just amongst themselves then even though as my friend says, ‘I can’t help everyone,’ I will have done my best to try.

 

 

A big thank you to Stewart Foster for the blog and to Simon and Schuster for the opportunity.

 

 

Tags:  Eating Disorders  Empathy  Mental Health  Reading  Reading for Pleasure 

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Using the Supernatural as a Path to Exploring More Grounded Themes

Posted By Jacob Hope, 04 October 2021

Ruth Estevez is the author of Jiddy Vardy and Erosion.  Her latest novel is The Monster Belt which published in September with UCLan publishing.  Ruth is the project co-ordinator for The Portico Sadie Massey Awards and has previously written for Youth Libraries Review  about young people’s reviewing.  We are delighted to welcome Ruth to the blog at the start of Libraries Week to talk about the supernatural as a means for exploring grounded themes (such as loss, hope and dreams) in her new novel The Monster Belt.

 

One of the main characters in The Monster Belt, seventeen year old Dee, has encounters with both mythical and real creatures and her interactions with them reflect who she is, how she’s feeling emotionally and how she develops. The fact that she is more afraid of the real creatures than the stranger, supernatural ones, adds to the theme of questioning what the term monster means. Throughout the book there are dictionary definitions and Dee is on a quest to find her own, with hopefully, the reader aiming to do the same.

 

Eventually, Dee realises that some questions do not require answers, as shown by her actions near the end of the book.

 

 

Using the supernatural in the story not only provides wonderful visuals to stoke our imaginations, but it also offers the expected exciting and sometimes frightening moments. Various reactions to any of the creatures in the book aims to ask the reader how they react when they encounter something alien to them. I use tender moments in the supernatural encounters, to show how the unknown does not need to be frightening, but can be something to embrace. The use of the supernatural in this way, shows that our labels for creatures we don’t understand may be mistaken and we need to rethink them. Dee is labelled a Monster Magnet because she sees these creatures, in this aspect, she is immediately set apart and the theme of identity and belonging are raised.

 

An exterior and ‘other’ entity, such as a squonk, or Loch Ness type creature, mirrors Dee’s emotions and helps us see her inner world visually as well as creating another thread to the story. The fact that the other main character, Harris, feels he has merely glimpsed a shadowy outline of a sea monster and is desperate to see it clearly and meet it, is a way of showing that he is blocking his emotions and only when he acknowledges his grief that his best friend has died will he have any chance of seeing the creature he is on a mission to find. He focuses his grief on tracking down a physical being and by his quest to find this ‘monster’ that killed his friend, he masks his grief in anger and in ‘doing.’ Only when he stops searching and let’s go, is he able to move on.

 

The book is a coming of age story and at this time in our lives, we are often searching for answers, exploring our emotions, our identity and trying to make sense of what is happening around us. This is a time to look for possibilities, new experiences and to follow dreams. By placing the characters in a world where anything is possible, that there is a real chance that a mythical type creature resides in the village lake, or that a sea monster killed Harris’s best friend, we have permission to question everything. And by making them both outsiders, they find they have the freedom to follow their own paths rather than unquestioningly joining the majority.

 

The end of the book brings resolutions, but also shows that one choice doesn’t have to be the final one and that when one ending comes, another journey begins.

 

 

Tags:  Empathy  Reading  Reading for Pleasure  Supernatural 

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Debi Gliori Introduces 'A Cat Called Waverley'

Posted By Jacob Hope, 12 August 2021

 

We are delighted to welcome author and illustrator Debi Gliori to the blog to introduce her new picturebook A Cat Called Waverley.  Debi studied illustration at Edinburgh College of Art and has been awarded an honorary Doctor of Letters by Strathclyde University.  Debi has won the Red House Children’s Book Award and has twice been shortlisted for the Kate Greenaway Medal.  Debi will be talking more about the highly affecting and important picturebook A Cat Called Waverley at the Youth Libraries Group annual conference this year – Representations of Place: New Lands and New Ways of Looking.

 

Some years ago, I visited a library in Glasgow to lead a storytelling session with an invited primary school class. Before the children arrived, the librarian showed me to the staffroom to drop my bags, and apologised in advance for the smell which, she said, was particularly noticeable in the ladies’ bathroom. She explained that in the colder parts of the year, the library was much prized by the local homeless population. She tilted her head to indicate where a few people sat slumped in forgotten corners of the library, dozing behind newspapers in the quiet warmth of the reading room. The librarian added in a whisper, they sleep here all day, waiting for their laundry to dry. Seeing my puzzled expression, the librarian continued; they wash their underclothes in the bathroom sinks, then drape them across the large Victorian radiators to dry. Imagine.

 

Indeed. Imagine that your life underwent an unforeseen and catastrophic shift. Imagine having to rely on the kindness of strangers for your survival. Imagine being blamed or shamed for allowing such a fate to befall you. Imagine having no agency, no voice, no vote and no sanctuary for when the winter comes. Back then, all those years ago in Glasgow, I chose not to imagine how appalling such a life would be. I had children to raise, books to write and, heavens, a class of seven-year-olds trooping into the library, wrinkling up their noses and loudly complaining about the smell.

 

Many years later, in an older and hopefully more empathetic version of myself, I met the human subject of my book A Cat Called Waverley; a homeless war veteran called Darren Greenfield. In my desire to devise a way to help him off the streets of Edinburgh without turning him into the subject of some well-intentioned children’s writer’s charity, I wove Darren’s life into a fictional tale of a war veteran and his faithful cat, Waverley. I hoped not only to highlight how easy it is to fall into homelessness, but also to begin a conversation with children, to shed light on this grotesque state of affairs that wilfully allows our fellow-humans to live without shelter on the streets of our cities. I also wanted to say to Darren - you matter. Your life story matters. It is wrong and unjust that you live on the streets while we live in houses, and hopefully this book will help ensure that such inequality becomes a thing of the past.

 

For many of us, the main point of contact we have with our homeless fellow-citizens is when we see them asking passing strangers for money on the streets of towns and cities around the UK. Or, when leafing through the broadsheet press, we encounter an advert exhorting us to give generously to one of the charities set up to support homeless people. Sadly, when most of us hear the word ‘homeless’ it doesn’t prompt a surge of empathy or engender more than the faintest wisp of fellow-feeling. Most of us have no direct experience of what it means to have nowhere to call ‘home’.

 

Whether this lack of empathy is a failure of imagination or a deliberate turning away is immaterial; it results in the same thing. We place a few coins in the outstretched hand and walk on by. We take a deep breath and turn the page. We blank out this unpleasant part of the reality of 21stC life. Moreover, we continue to vote for political parties that not only allow our fellow humans to live on the streets, but whose policies appear to actively encourage a moral climate where homelessness is commonplace. We are encouraged to demonise the unfortunate, to categorise people into strivers and shirkers and thus avoid any responsibility for our common weal. It’s an all-too common story, our collective blindness to inequalities and our morally deficient reluctance to step in to rewrite this potentially disastrous story arc.

 

Darren Greenfield’s story ended on the streets of Edinburgh. After several years he slipped through the inadequate net of social provisions we extend to our homeless fellow-humans. The news cycle paid brief attention. One more homeless person died on the streets of a first world city. Next?

 

With the ability to turn the world around me into a story, I’d managed to make over seventy books without once touching on the subject of homelessness. Until Darren. Mainly, I suspect, because I correctly guessed that such a book might not only be difficult to conceive and illustrate, but also that it could be tricky to find a publisher for such a project. I am delighted that not only did A Cat Called Waverley find an empathetic and principled publisher, but it also found the best home imaginable with Otter-Barry Books. Some stories do have a happy ending.

 

A big thank you to Debi Gliori for the blog and to Otter-Barry Books for the opportunity.

 

 

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Tags:  Empathy  Homelessness  Kate Greenaway  Picture books  Visual Literacy 

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Boosting Empathy: Teens Caught up in Toxic Friendships by Muhammad Khan

Posted By Jacob Hope, 08 June 2020
Updated: 08 June 2020

Empathy is a vital human force. One that creates happier children, stronger communities and a better world. It’s come into sharp focus during the pandemic and right now, we’ve never needed it more. Empathy is being able to imagine and share someone else’s feelings.

 

The good news is that it's a skill you can learn, and Empathy Day on 9 June aims to help everyone understand and experience its transformational power. Empathy Day focuses on how we can use books to step into someone else’s shoes. Scientists say that we can train our brain with stories – the more you empathise with characters, the more you understand other people’s feelings.

 

Empathy Day was established by not-for-profit EmpathyLab, who are on a mission to inspire the rising generation to drive a new empathy movement. On 9 June they will host a day of brilliant online events and home-based celebrations to help children READCONNECT AND ACT using empathy. Children can join in whether they're at home or at school, and authors, illustrators, schools and libraries across the country will all be taking part.

 

To mark the countdown to Empathy Day, the Youth Libraries Group are delighted to welcome Muhammad Khan to the blog.  Muhammad's book Kick the Moon is included in EmpathyLab’s Read for Empathy Collection, has chosen an extract from their book and tells us why they feel it’s a powerful read to develop empathy.

 

 

Extract: Kick the Moon pages 35-37, 2nd para, line 6, ‘By the end of the lesson, I’m solving simultaneous equations like a pro…’ [See dowload link below]

 

 

On the first day of term, Ilyas can’t believe his luck when told he’s being moved up a set in maths. His old teacher, Mr Gordon, had a less than encouraging teaching style (read old school bullying); and his gang were always snatching his book and copying his answers (more bullying). In spite of all this, he’s a little wary of his new environment. He needn’t be. It turns out Ms Mughal’s classroom is a safe space for learning. Though Ilyas is chuffed to discover this, he doesn’t think it would be cool to express these positive feelings. His gang have brainwashed him into believing ‘dons’ never show emotion except to laugh at losers, aggressively flirt with girls, or demonstrate violence. These are the hallmarks of toxic masculinity. We feel empathy for Ilyas because we know he wants to be a good boy but past experience has determined it leads to bullying.

 

Ms Mughal’s students seem to really like her, share jokes together, but clearly understand where she draws the line. Ilyas is surprised when they all say ‘bye’ to her on the way out. Finding this new respectful dynamic awkward, he tries to slip out unnoticed. In spite of the apparent snub, Ms Mughal tells him he is welcome to see her anytime for extra help – thereby showing she understands the enormity of his burden. In this moment she is promising to have his back, she is empathising. It flies in the face of Ilyas’s gang who claim they are the only ones who will ever look out for each other thereby exerting control through fear and lies.

 

Outside in the corridor, Ilyas sees Jade - the beautiful girl he is obsessed with - engaged in a controversial conversation with a couple of friends. Melanie says horribly racist things. Jade is complicit and it breaks Ilyas’s heart. Until now he’s placed her on a pedestal but discovers an ugly side which throws a massive spanner in the works for future romance (no matter how unlikely it was!) The third friend, Kelly, looks deeply uncomfortable with this bigotry but doesn’t have the strength to challenge her friends over it. She is an analogue for Ilyas – both teens are caught up in groups of friends who say and do things that are ostensibly wrong. The moment foreshadows the eventual friendship that will blossom between the two.

 

As a secondary school maths teacher, I drew direct inspiration from the children I teach. I wrote this book to try to understand why some of the kindest teens hang out with others who lack empathy and can be cruel. High school, of course, is not an easy time. There is strength in numbers. To stand alone and fight for what you believe in can make you a target, especially in friendship groups where a pecking order exists. Many young people already feel self-conscious – the burden of taking those ‘flawless’ selfies and clocking up the most likes doesn’t exactly breed confidence – so it is difficult to challenge peers to become better people. Hierarchies are established through fear and shame which of course creates subordinates while venerating a de facto leader. And as we know: power corrupts.

 

Ilyas and Kelly are both relatable in their very averageness. They have hopes and dreams just like everyone else and desperately want to be friends. We empathise because we see how happy and creative they become whenever they are together and feel sympathy when berated, mocked and threatened by their respective ‘friendship’ groups who demand they keep apart.

 

Standing up for yourself or your friends is not easy, but hopefully the book empowers young people to believe some things are worth fighting for no matter how daunting the odds.

 

For the first time this year, EmpathyLab will host its Empathy Day programme online to support families at home. Schools and libraries across the country will also be offering a wide range of home learning and story-time activities.

 

Prior to the big day, EmpathyLab are hosting a Countdown Fortnight on their social media channels (26 May-8 June). Highlights include brand-new empathy-themed illustrations from leading artists, short stories from favourite authors and video readings of empathy-boosting books and poems from the writers themselves. Families can also download a new Family Activities Pack, featuring 14 writing, drawing, crafting, listening and reading activities to do at home. https://www.empathylab.uk/family-activities-pack

 

Events on 9 June will begin at 9:30am with Children’s Laureate and best-selling author Cressida Cowell, who will introduce Empathy Day. The day’s activities, designed to introduce children to the concept and importance of empathy and how to put it into action, include a draw-along with Rob Biddulph, a poetry challenge with Sarah Crossan, Empathy Charades with Joseph Coelho, exercises on listening with Jo Cotterill and Robin Stevens, before rounding up the day with an activity on putting empathy into action with Onjali Rauf and Sita Brahmachari. Finally, an evening event with Cressida Cowell, Muhammad Khan and psychologist Professor Robin Banerjee aimed at parents, teachers and librarians will address the science that drives EmpathyLab.

 

The full programme can be found HERE https://bit.ly/EmpathyDay2020

 

Join in with the #EmpathyDay social media campaign and share your #ReadforEmpathy book recommendations.

 

 

 

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Tags:  diversity  Empathy  Empathy Day  Reading  Reading for Pleasure  Young Adult 

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